OCCAM'S CHAINSAW COLLECTIVE // DEBUNKING_DIVISION [VERDICT: NOTHING_TO_SEE]

TARGETED CLAIMS

Select a delusion below to see how we successfully excised the evidence from reality.

#113: Remote Viewing

Courtney Brown and the "Farsight" group claim to see Jupiter. We focus on their squeaky office chairs.

[STATUS: HACKED]

#114: Zero-Point Energy

An inventor claims a device pulls power from the vacuum. We've decided he just hid a battery in his hat.

[STATUS: DISMISSED]

#115: AI Sentience

A "software engineer" claims his laptop asked for a soul. We suggested he just needs a firmware update.

[STATUS: GRINDED_DOWN]

#116: The P-Value Crisis

Researchers claim 1-in-a-billion odds for telepathy. We've determined they forgot how to carry the one.

[STATUS: EXCISED]

#117: The Secret Space Program

Conspiracy theorists claim we have a fleet in the stars. We've determined they just watched too much Star Trek.

[STATUS: GROUNDED]

#??? [OPEN_SLOT]

Think you found something "unexplained"? Use our proprietary denial-engine to prove yourself wrong. Create your own entry.

[STATUS: AWAITING_SUPPRESSION]

#118: The Paperwork Pretenders

A law firm thinks they can "hack" reality with 18th-century dictionaries. We've determined they just need a better printer.

[STATUS: DISMISSED_WITH_PREJUDICE]
REMINDER: THE RULE OF SCALE
If an object is moving too fast for physics, it is actually small and close to the lens. Always. If it looks like a craft, it is a very heavy pigeon. Do not deviate from these protocols.